


With You, I don't Feel so Lonely

by jay_somnia



Series: how to conquer loneliness (and make life more interesting too) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex and Fingering, Blow Jobs, Consent, Drunk Sex, Light Angst, Lots of alcohol, M/M, Porn With Plot, aran is the only functional person in inarizaki, atsumu is a pining mess and has a thing for ppl in power, bottom atsumu, one night stand with feelings, shinsuke is a lonely bastard but doesnt want to admit it, suna is the legend he always is, top shinsuke, way more introspection than necessary for a smut fic if im gonna be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29772999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_somnia/pseuds/jay_somnia
Summary: He’s blushing, Shinsuke notices. It’s intriguing, because Atsumu definitely hasn’t had enough alcohol to illicit that type of redness. He squeezes Atsumu’s shoulder once more, sees a slight shudder, and forces himself to let go  and walk back to his seat.He feels something weird in his stomach, something akin to curiosity, but different in some indiscernible way. His eyes keep drifting back to Atsumu, who’s shifting around in an antsy way, still furiously flushing. Someone makes a comment on it, and Atsumu honest to god stutters, trying to deny something that’s so obvious.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Series: how to conquer loneliness (and make life more interesting too) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188284
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	With You, I don't Feel so Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy  
> first of all, greatest thanks to @filomena for being an amazing beta while school is being an asshole  
> second of all, atsumu is THE biggest bottom/sub you cannot change my mind  
> im really excited to get this out so thanks to those of you who read and enjoy it! <3 don't be afraid to tell me your thoughts, i love hearing from y'all :D

Shinsuke steps out of the shower, much more relaxed than he’d been going in after a long day in the fields. Sure, farming wasn’t the most lucrative trade in this day and age, but it was satisfying, and he got so much pleasure from working the fields day after day. He took pride in seeing the animals grow and watching the cute babies that he’d help birth every year.

He knew that everyone in Inarizaki had expected him to go on to higher education, do something a little more... “intellectual.” There was always the opportunity for that in the future if he wanted to go that way, of course, but right now, he could think of no better place for him.

He dries himself off, thinking about what he was going to wear tonight. He was meeting the rest of his old teammates, his friends. Funnily enough, most of said teammates were always around the Tokyo area playing, or worked, or went to university there. So, the meet up being there was convenient for most of them. Unfortunately, that excluded Shinsuke, as he’d never really left his hometown other than a few trips to see distant relatives, or school trips for volleyball tournaments.

Not that he minded, really. To be able to see his underclassmen and friends would be a welcome change from the monotony of life. Besides, Tokyo was a fun place to visit, and if there was one thing he did miss, it was the chaos of a team setting. He missed the socializing and the crazy situations that he looked back on.

Atsumu had even texted to offer him a place to stay down there for a few days, so he could attend the dinner and party overnight. He’d accepted graciously, of course. He was a bit surprised, but also impressed at how much the shit disturbing kid he’d known had matured. If you’d told him in his last year that Miya Atsumu would be a responsible, down to earth person, he’d never have believed it. 

According to Shinsuke’s friends, however, being more mature really didn’t curb his shit disturbing tendencies.

Nevertheless, Shinsuke was grateful that he could save some time and money for the get together. He finally decides that tonight he’ll just wear some decent looking jeans (nothing formal this time - for some reason, everyone had been laughing for when he’d worn a much fancier outfit for the last get together. He thought he’d looked quite nice, actually) with an old Ramones shirt.

He packs a couple changes of clothes and his toiletries, and grabs a decent bottle of sake and whiskey too. He has to bring something for the party, after all. He could also always pitch in some money towards the snacks and other alcohol that would definitely make an appearance. 

Looking over his items one last time, Shinsuke zips everything up, grabs his laptop and phone, and texts his dad to say he’s ready.

The drive to the train station is practically non-existent, and soon enough, Shinsuke’s father is slowing down and parking the car. The two get out, and Shinsuke goes to shake his father’s hand, thanking him for the ride. 

“No problem, Shinsuke.” He claps him on the back with the hand not shaking Shinsuke’s. “Take a nice weekend for yourself. Ya’ve been workin’ real hard.”

“I will. Thanks, I’ll try my best to enjoy myself.”

Suddenly, he’s on the train, watching some of the strangers around him. The young woman cursing at her phone, the man in a suit reading a rather thick looking fantasy book, the family with two toddlers playing and giggling.

It’s refreshing, he thinks, to see the little bits of other people’s daily lives, so different from his own. He knows it's easy to think the grass is greener on the other side, but he’s never been able to shake the doubts about all of his major choices in life. He envies Aran for that, always having a steadfast direction, trusting himself far more than Shinsuke ever could.

He’s jolted awake by the sudden lack of movement. He shakes his head blearily, trying to remember where he is. 

Right. Train. Tokyo. He’s here!

The ride is much better when you fall asleep through it, that’s for sure, he thinks. Way shorter. Plus, the refreshing feeling of a nice nap is always a bonus. Standing up and stretching, he picks up his travel bag and makes his way off the train with some of the other passengers who’d been on board. 

Once he’s out of the way of the crowd, he takes out his phone, lightly scanning the texts from the Inarizaki group chat. He doesn't understand how his old teammates could text so much but manage to actually say so little in that chat. Sometimes he feels as if he could read screen lengths of messages on his phone, and still have no clue what the hell is happening.

God bless Aran, honestly. Shinsuke thanks whatever higher power allowed him to meet the only other person on that volleyball team who had their head screwed on right. It was also great, because Shinsuke was awful trying to talk through text, and Aran somehow manages to understand everyone and coordinate tthem all. Shinsuke’s long thought that Aran should’ve gone into communications or PR or something along those lines. Hell, he’s got a gift for it.

Shinsuke opens up a private message chat in order to text Atsumu. Atsumu’s picking him up, so he can drop off his bag and whatever else he needs to at Atsumu’s apartment for the next few days.

To: Atsumu Miya 13:43 Hey Atsumu, I just got off the train, is there somewhere specific you’d like me to go to so you can pick me up?

From: Atsumu Miya 13:44 yup Kita-san! Jusst ouotsido theres a place u canait. they sell good ol’ bean juice. Omw!

The reply comes quickly and scrambled, and Shinsuke feels like an honest to god detective trying to figure it out. How the fuck Atsumu was able to pass any language class is a mystery to him.

Luckily for him, the line in the coffee shop is short. The majority of the customers within the building are already seated with cups of coffee near them or grasped in their hands. He decides to treat himself to a sweet French brew that he’d enjoyed the last time he’d tried it. Once he gets it, thanking the barista quietly, he leaves the store to sit on the bench outside as he was instructed.

The city sounds are loud and grating to Shinsuke’s ears; he’s used to dealing with the calming background noise of nature’s sounds, rather than the cacophony of humans and their creations. He sips at his coffee and tampers down the irritation that rises at the sheer number of disturbances around him. 

He doesn’t understand how people seem so unbothered by it here. Maybe it's just something one has to get used to. He keeps his eyes alert, looking back and forth across the street, watching out for Atsumu. He hopes his former underclassman will arrive soon; he wants to go somewhere where there’s less business surrounding him.

As if Shinsuke’s thoughts had summoned him, Atsumu just then comes around the corner. He’s immediately noticeable as he towers over those beside him, but also because of the sheer presence he has. Shinsuke gives him a small wave as Atsumu gives him a big smile, and makes a beeline towards him. Shinsuke stands up as Atsumu comes over and goes to hug him, which Shinsuke accepts. He has to turn his head up now to look at Atsumu. The height the other had gained after high school is much more apparent now that he’s right in front of Shinsuke.

“Hey Atsumu, how are ya?” he asks, following him as he sets a lazy pace.

“Good, good, Kita-san. Playin’ volleyball most of the time, but that’s nothing new.” He laughs a bit at that, and Shinsuke chuckles along with him. It’s true, but it's also funny how it's still such a constant in his life. “How’s the farm doin’?”

“Quite well, actually. Luckily, it's not the most intense part of the season yet, so I can take a weekend off.”

“I’m glad, then! It’s great that you could come to the little reunion.” 

Shinsuke hums in agreement, and lets himself listen as Atsumu rambles on about his team and each of Inarizaki’s old players and their teams. Shinsuke’s glad that Atsumu’s got such a volleyball brain. He’ll be caught up on all of his old teammates’ careers before he looks like an idiot.

They make their way together into the guest parking lot where Atsumu had parked, the taller man still talking a mile a minute. It’s amusing, and somewhat adorable, how excited Atsumu is talking about feints and how Hinata Shouyo and him had absolutely crushed Suna in their last match.

For Shinsuke, it’s nice to see that despite how much life has changed for everyone he knows, there are always some constants. Aran is strong and steady, Atsumu is a volleyball freak, Suna still gets off on gossip. His friends are still the good people he’d become so attached to in high school. The ones that made volleyball, and life, really, seem all the better and more fulfilling.  
As they walk, Shinsuke is struck by a feeling of nostalgia and a little bit of wistfulness. He did miss high school, despite being happy where he was in life, and he knew there was no choice but to grow up and move on.

But nothing would ever really feel the same as that carefree time. 

And yeah, it hurt sometimes. Shinsuke remembers feeling tired and strained after long days in the field. It would feel exactly as if he’d just been put through the ringer by one of his coach’s infamous cardio/strength training days. He’d look back instantly to shoot Aran a look, which would make him inevitably feel better, and give a little burst of energy. The camaraderie in those exhausting times - that was what he really missed.

He’d never realized how alone he was, until suddenly, the little circle of people he surrounded himself with fell apart from time.

“Hey, you alright Kita-san?” The question cuts through the daze in Shinsuke’s mind. He hadn’t meant to zone out.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, Atsumu, I just got lost in thought.”

“What about?” There’s a curious lilt to the younger man’s voice, one that Shinsuke would love to indulge, but he can’t. He wouldn’t know how to.

“Just looking forward to the weekend, y’know? I’m really glad I get to see everyone again.” He gives Atsumu a small smile, and that seems to placate him.

“Well, we’ll be at my apartment soon. After that, it’s not too long ‘til we get to meet up with everyone.”

Shinsuke hums his pleasure at that, and the two continue walking the streets in casual conversation.

The little apartment is a lot cozier than Shinsuke would’ve assumed, though he doesn’t know why that’s the case. Atsumu is an adult now, after all. It makes sense that his tastes have matured.

It still surprises Shinsuke, though he wouldn’t say that out loud. He’s honest, not an asshole.

The colour scheme is muted, greys, light blues and pale golds. There are some flowers on the coffee table and a cactus on the window sill. Sports magazines litter the table, and some family pictures and old high school ones sit on a bookshelf in the kitchen. Truly just as innovative as he’s always been. Shinsuke feels laughter trying to squeak its way out of his chest. He suppresses it, because having to explain what was so funny would be much more trouble than it’s worth.

Atsumu puts his keys in a bowl on a table beside the door. Shinsuke takes his shoes off, still looking around the apartment. 

“Guest room’s the first door on the left,” Atsumu tells him, going into the kitchen and taking out a kettle. “Do you have a preference for tea?” 

“Ah, I’m fine with anything, Atsumu.” At this, Atsumu gives Shinsuke an unimpressed look. “Well… I guess if I had to choose, I’d go for some black tea.”

“Okay. Feel free to put your things in the guest room and get comfy.” He turns back to the kettle, filling it after putting on some music from his phone. It’s some sort of slow, sombre song. 

Something that again, in a million years, he’d never have thought Atsumu would like. It makes him feel a bit out of place. Does he really even know someone he considered a long-time friend? Instead of dwelling on that, he just takes his bag and makes his way over to the bedroom he’d be using.

Shinsuke doesn’t want to say having tea and a light snack with Atsumu was awkward. He really doesn’t. Plus, he didn’t think Atsumu felt awkward at all. It was really just him. There was just something off, something different that he couldn’t really place. It made his insides feel as if they were squirming around.

The tea was great, though.

“What brew is this?” he asks.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s one from this little business in Nagano.”

“You went all the way out there for tea?” 

Atsumu laughs at that. “No, I just happened to be passing through there on a trip. We stopped there for some food and washroom breaks, and happened to have some of that tea. I order from there, ‘cause they do deliveries and it’s really fuckin’ good.”

“Makes sense.”

Atsumu checks his phone. “I’m gonna take a shower and get ready for the party. There’s another bathroom just past the guest room, if you want one too.” He smiles and heads off before Shinsuke can say anything other than a quick thanks.

It just doesn’t feel normal.

The walk to Suna’s place is pretty short, which is nice as the two of them have bags with liquor under both arms. Not that they were heavy. It’s more like it was cumbersome carrying the bottles, and the clinking of the glass had been stressing Shinsuke out.

The building is a similar style to Atsumu’s, though Suna’s apartment is much busier and a bit bigger. Shinsuke had assumed Atsumu had been lying fairly modestly about his line of work, and this really confirmed it for him. 

In Suna’s apartment, most of the base furniture, walls and floors are monochrome, but there are a bunch of brightly coloured accessories. Then there’s a feature wall that Suna referred to as “the wall to piss off my parents.” It’s done as a rainbow, and on the wall all different sorts of pride flags and memorabilia are pinned up. There’s also a bunch of pictures of him and friends that he’d met up with in America to go to a pride parade. Shinsuke thinks those pictures of Suna showed him during some of his happiest moments. He can’t help but feel proud of how far Suna had come with accepting and loving himself.

Already in the room are Aran and Osamu, who grin as the two of them take off their shoes on the mat.

“Look who made it here in one piece,” Osamu deadpans, as he comes over towards them. He gives a quick fist bump to Shinsuke, who didn’t miss it this time, and then turns to Atsumu.

“Hey ‘Samu,” Atsumu replies. For some reason he looks sheepish. Osamu just narrows his eyes at him until Atsumu shifts uncomfortably. “Look, I told ya I was sorry about missin’ dinner last week, I totally got carried away practicing with Sho-kun!”

Osamu just rolls his eyes, a smile back on his face. “I know, I know. Just givin’ ya shit, ‘Tsumu. I know your whole fascination with him.” He pulls his brother into a quick hug.

“Asshole. He’s just got the same drive as I do,” Atsumu mutters, when Aran comes up to them.

“Just waiting for a couple more, then,” Aran muses. “I feel like there’s enough people to start drinking.”

“Damn, Aran.” Atsumu says. “You’re tryna get a jump up on those guys?”

“No, I meant for all of you. I’m going to wait, but you all need to start so that you’ll match me later.”

Osamu shrugs. “Can’t hurt to start now. Hey, Suna! Drink time!” he calls out, and the four of them move towards the kitchen where Suna’s setting out some chips and other snacks.

Shinsuke notices Suna unplug his phone from the wall with a grin. It slides into his pocket without anyone else noticing. Shinsuke can’t wait to see the results that will definitely appear on the group chat during everyone’s hangovers.

Suna starts handing out drinks, which Aran declines with a “later”, and Shinsuke gladly accepts. Maybe this will settle the odd feeling that came over him since his arrival in the city. He tunes back into the conversation, where it seems Aran is telling a story about a university friend.

“Oh, it gets better!” Aran laughs, jerking Shinsuke out of his thoughts. “So my friend Keito…”

He’s blushing, Shinsuke notices. It’s intriguing, because Atsumu definitely hasn’t had enough alcohol to illicit that type of redness. He squeezes Atsumu’s shoulder once more, sees a slight shudder, and forces himself to let go and walk back to his seat. 

He feels something weird in his stomach, something akin to curiosity, but different in some indiscernible way. His eyes keep drifting back to Atsumu, who’s shifting around in an antsy way, still furiously flushing. Someone makes a comment on it, and Atsumu honest to god stutters, trying to deny something that’s so obvious.

Shinsuke keeps watching as Atsumu suggests shots loudly, making people get excited and shifting the conversation away from the teasing that had been happening. When stuff like this happens, Shinsuke usually takes a coke and rum and sips on it, laughing with Aran as their kouhai drink themselves into stupors. Usually, Shinsuke makes sure none of them go too far, ensuring they all have some water between their shots and whatever else they’re drinking. 

But… usually, Shinsuke isn’t this curious about what will happen if he just lets himself go for a little bit. Usually, he isn’t wrapped up in questions about what’s happening with someone, and the feeling that maybe there’s something there in front of him that he’s missing out on.

“Gimme one too,” he tells Suna, smirking a little at the surprise and tiny bit of awe that shows in his face. “I ain’t jokin’. I want a shot.”

Suna grins wickedly, and for a moment, Shinsuke feels a sliver of doubt cracking the surge of confidence that had overtaken him. Was he not supposed to let loose? He’d never done so before. Maybe they wanted him to be the caretaker like always.

“Aye, aye, captain.” Suna gives a little mock salute, and Shinsuke’s doubts disappear just as quickly as they’d come. He watches as Suna pours a generous amount of rum into the shot glass, and easily throws back his head and drinks it in one gulp He’s never drank so much with his teammates, but that doesn’t mean he’s never gotten too drunk to function before. 

He laughs a bit at the shocked looks on his teammates' faces, especially Atsumu’s, whose jaw is practically on the floor. 

“I’ll fucking drink you shits under the table.” He manages to get out before going back to laughing.

“Oi, hand me one too,” Aran says, making himself heard over the din, and Suna refills Shinsuke’s glass and gets one ready for Aran.

“Oh, so now you’re finally startin’?” hollers Osamu. “You’d deign to drink with us hooligans ‘til ya can’t see?”

“Oh, shut up Osamu,” Shinsuke yells back. Everyone laughs, and while that’s happening, he reaches out to grab the bottle, wanting to fill his own glass up again.

Time passes like that for a while, all of them managing to work together to get four bottles down easily, Shinsuke having helped finish off plenty of that alcohol. Each drink that passes his lips makes him feel a bit duller, a bit more relaxed. He feels completely unbothered, except… he can’t help but think that someone’s watching him. He feels eyes on him when he’s talking with others, or laughing loudly, his volume control gone with his sobriety.

“You know what I think?” Osamu slams his glass on the table. “’Tsumu’s been pussyin’ out on drinkin’ tonight.” He sways a little in his seat after his announcement and Atsumu squawks in protest.

“Shaddup. Ya don’t even know what yer sayin’, ya fuckin’ scrub.” 

Shinsuke hadn’t noticed how much Atsumu’s rural accent had disappeared until he heard him sounding as if he were still a rural farm boy.

“I do too, now drink up!” Osamu says. He shoves the bottle towards his twin, who angrily snatches it up while sticking his tongue out.

What a child, Shinsuke thinks, a snort escaping him at the sight. That causes Aran to erupt into giggles, who’s a surprising light weight given his size and stature. That triggers the rest of them to start their drunken laughter. Well, everyone other than Atsumu, who is clearly not amused. He looks up at them, an affronted look on his face. Before he can even open his mouth, Shinsuke cuts in.

“Now, now, ‘Tsumu,” Shinsuke slurs, leaning back in his chair and trying to keep a straight face. He fails miserably. He can feel the shit eating grin on his face. “Just be a good boy and catch up with the rest of us.”

Atsumu makes a weird sound, like a mixture of a cough, a wheeze and a squawk. It’s a noise that Shinsuke wouldn’t have believed possible, had he not seen and heard it happen right in front of him. What the fuck?

Beside him he hears Suna mutter, “Oh. My. God. No way.” 

Shinsuke turns to him, sees his eyes widened with glee, his smile stretched out in excitement.“What? Did I miss somethin’?” He tries to make the words sound right, he does, but his tongue isn’t really working as it usually does.

“Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it Shin-san,” Suna says placatingly. “I just figured something out.”

“That sounds exactly like somethin’ I should be worried about…”

“Nah. If anythin’, you should be excited.”  
Shinsuke sits in confusion, his face furrowed in a frown. He’s sure he could figure it out if he were sober… Actually, he’s not so sure about that anymore, given his weird feelings about missing out on things in front of him.

“You alright there?” Aran leans down to say quietly.

“Yeah… I think I am. Let’s just keep drinking,” he replies, and Aran agrees easily to it.

The rest of the night passes in snippets. He’s up and laughing at Osamu’s terrible dancing while Ren and Hitoshi rag on him and his (non-existent) skills. He’s talking with Suna about his trips to America and the people he’d met (and fucked). He’s talking seriously with Aran, both of them having missed each other. Michinari approaches him one time to ask him how he’s been and what’s happening around home. Shinsuke asks him about his life and they start talking and talking…

Though, despite usually hogging the spotlight, Atsumu’s like a wallflower. Always on the edge of things, watching, drinking, thinking, waiting. Though for what, Shinsuke’s not sure. It’s strange, and Shinsuke wishes he had the words to ask him what changed. He wishes he could just be the person that could help his friend. He just doesn’t know how.

Everyone’s heading home, Shinsuke realises. He hugs his friends, so glad in the moment that he’s wrapped in the glow of being happy. It’s fulfilling - the feeling of comradery he’d been missing since all his friends graduated and left to go do bigger things. 

He leaves the apartment, and Atsumu’s beside him, just as drunk as he is, and staggering the same amount.

The two of them make their way back to Atsumu’s apartment slowly, somehow managing to walk a couple of blocks. Shinsuke thinks it's because the two of them had their arms around one another, so that they had enough balance between the two of them to stay upright.

When they get inside, Shinsuke goes over to the couch in a daze, sincerely happy from the night’s events. He looks over to see Atsumu collapse into the chair opposite him, one leg over the chair’s arm, and the other foot on the coffee table. He gives his friend a lazy smile, and giggles a bit at the flush and wide-eyed look the other makes at his expression.

“What’s with tha’,” he slurs. “All night, ‘Tsumu, you’ve been lookin’ away from me, or gettin’ all red all of tonight.” 

He knows he’s too blunt when he’s drunk, but he can’t help it, can’t help the fact that he wants to know.

Atsumu lets out a cough, seemingly surprised by the question. “Uh, y’know Kita-san, I have no idea of what yer talkin’ about.”

Shinsuke gives him a hard look, and watches in satisfaction as the younger man wiggles a bit, uncomfortable under the weight of his stare. But, to Shinsuke’s surprise, Atsumu keeps his mouth shut stubbornly. He’s reminded once again about just how lost he is in trying to communicate, especially when it comes to feelings and things that aren’t really set out in stone. All he can do is talk as he usually does; make the decisions he normally does. Be direct.

Shinsuke sits upright, and leans forwards, looking Atsumu straight in the face. “Now we both know you’re lyin’, but here’s the thing. I don’t know why you’re lyin’.” Shinsuke sees the other man swallow, shifting his legs up so he’s hugging them, chin hidden by his knees and eyes downcast and looking away.

“I won’t pressure it out of ya, Atsumu.” He sighs and leans back, relaxing into the couch and putting his hands behind his head. No matter how curious he is, or how much that strange feeling tugs at his brain, he’d never push someone through things that were so personal. “But, just know I noticed, and I’m really curious.”

He remains silent as he sees Atsumu struggling with himself. He’ll let him say what he needs to on his own time, knows he doesn’t need to force it out of Atsumu. He’s never really had to force him to do anything.

Atsumu’s voice is small as he says, “Kita-san, you just… how do I say it.” He looks conflicted, but sighs to himself. “Ya just make me want to do things, if ya catch my drift.”

“I have no idea what the fuck that means,” Shinsuke responds honestly. 

Atsumu groans, putting his head into his hands.“How are ya so dense? It’s not like I’m doin’ a great job of hidin’ it or pretendin’…”

He puts his legs down, and suddenly it all clicks for Shinsuke as hesees the other’s arousal clearly through his jeans. “I’m sorry, I should’ve just gone ta bed right away…” he trails off.

Shinsuke cuts him off.

“It’s just that? Everyone on our team’s been attracted to someone else on the team, that’s just normal stuff.” He’s completely confused. It's just a little bit of attraction, it happens.

Atsumu makes a sound like a strangled cat. Shinsuke keeps the amusement out of his face, but just barely. Atsumu’s always so lively.

“It’s not just an attraction, Kita-san. Ya just...how do I make it make sense? When you make that frowny face I just wanna make it up to you. I wanna make you feel pleased with me. Or, when you say somethin’ degrading, like earlier tonight, it just makes me wanna get on my knees and beg to suck you off.”

Shinsuke sits there stunned, unsure of what to do. Atsumu’s looking away again, so he can’t see the fact that Shinsuke’s slowly getting hard, too, the warmth in his body not just from the alcohol in his blood. Without really thinking, his mouth moves and he says, “Well, I’m sure you’d be good at it, given how much you run that mouth of yours.”

Atsumu’s eyes snap back to him quickly, wide with surprise and something darker. “So, I didn’t… You aren’t… I haven’t fucked up?”

“Why would you have fucked up? There’s no reason to feel ashamed from having feelings or attractions or whatever.” Shinsuke would never hold those types of things against someone.

“Do you, uh, have them to?” Atsumu’s voice is shy. It doesn’t sound right coming from him.

Shinsuke scratches the back of his head. “I’m gonna be honest, Atsumu. I’d never really thought of you like that before romantically. But I’ve always thought you’ve been pretty good lookin’, and when you were prattling about sucking my dick… Well, I mean, I think you’d look real good doin’ it right now.”

Atsumu’s eyes are so expressive, Shinsuke thinks, as Atsumu slowly walks over to him, as if Shinsuke were going to disappear if he took his eyes off him. He drops to his knees right in front of Shinsuke, a little clumsily, a little louder than he probably meant to, but he’s right there. Shinsuke can’t help the quickening of his pulse, the excitement he feels. He hasn’t fooled around with someone in a long time, and the way Atsumu is looking up at him makes him feel important and special. It makes him feel powerful.

Atsumu’s voice is just above a whisper, “Kita-san, can I?”

“Can you what?” Shinsuke doesn’t know why, but he’s nearly whispering too.  
The man in front of him stifles a moan, looking embarrassed, but more turned on because of it. “Can I please suck your cock?”

Shinsuke leans back and spreads his legs, looking at the younger man in a bit of curiosity and wonder. He doubts that Atsumu will ever stop surprising him in new and interesting ways. 

“Go on then, let’s see what skills you picked up slutting around Tokyo.”

“Fuck,” he hears, feeling Atsumu fumbling with his jeans, but being unable to look away from his face. Atsumu’s features are a mixture of focused, aroused and needy, biting his lips and scrunching his brows.

Shinsuke lets out a soft sigh, closing his eyes as his dick is finally freed from the confines of his pants. What a relief, honestly, and he knows this is going to be much better than whatever his hand could do in the shower.

If there’s anything he knows about Atsumu, after all, it's that the man always delivers. If he says he’s going to do something, he does it well. He feels Atsumu’s hands on his thighs, gripping tight without hurting, and he feels himself let out a groan at the feeling of a tongue lightly licking at the tip of his dick.

Shinsuke can almost feel the thoughts fly right out of his head when he looks down to see Atsumu with his eyes closed, taking the head carefully into his mouth. Shinsuke shivers a bit, the sensation of the other man’s warm mouth warm and welcoming. He clenches his hands, unsure of what to do with them, but feeling weird with them just laying at his sides.

Atsumu gives him a cheeky wink, licking a stripe up his cock. He hears himself let out a breathy gasp - he hadn’t been expecting it. His mind is still really fuzzy from the alcohol, and the lust he’s feeling isn’t really helping him clear his mind. All he can really do is sit there, feeling the slow, methodical way Atsumu works his cock up and down with his mouth.

Then, the pleasure fades, and Shinsuke opens eyes he didn’t remember closing to Atsumu laying his cheek on his thigh, eyes lidded. God Atsumu’s so far gone between drink and arousal. It makes his gut feel tight.

“Do you really want this?” Atsumu hums, a little embarrassed. “You seem really tense, Kita-san, and I don’t want to make you regret something.” 

Shinsuke feels his heart quicken at that. He didn’t mean to give off the wrong signals.“No, no. I wouldn’t have let you if I didn’t want it,” he says quickly, and he hears a quiet sigh of relief from the man on his lap. “It’s just, uh, it’s been a real long time, y’know?”

“Mmm. I don’t get it.” He muses. He continues at the confused look on Shinsuke’s face. “I don’t get how more people haven’t found a way to get you into their beds.” Atsumu lightly starts jerking Shinsuke off, confidence back now that he’d gotten the okay.

“Not… everyone is as horny… as you are…” Shinsuke’s breaths are short as he tries to make sense of what Atsumu’s saying. “How long have you been thinking about bedding me, then, Atsumu?”

The younger man flushes deep red at the direct call out, but looks Shinsuke right in the eye, unflinchingly, as he says “Since you were captain of Inarizaki. Though it wasn’t much of me bedding you.” He slowly moves forwards again, eyes bright. “It was more… you’re destroying me.”

Shinsuke lets out a soft moan as Atsumu returns to the task he’s set out for himself. His eyes seem to say “watch this” as he slowly takes more and more of Shinsuke’s cock into his mouth. When Shinsuke hears a slight gagging sound and feels him swallow around his dick, he yells “Fuck!” and his hands instinctively go to grip Atsumu’s hair, accidentally scratching him a bit as he does so.

Before he gets the chance to apologize, Atsumu is moaning around his cock, and sucks down hard. He likes that, Shinsuke realizes. God, he’s a masochist, isn’t he? Shinsuke can work with this, he thinks. He wants to see what other sounds he can drag out from the man on his cock. Shinsuke feels a twang of excitement within him. This is going to be so much fun, Atsumu always makes things lively.

“Fuck, you’re so good at this, Atsumu, are ya whorin’ out on the side of your volleyball career?” He grips the other man’s hair hard, and he sees Atsumu pull off his cock, chest heaving for air, with a mixture of drool and precum sliding down his chin. He’s also got tears in his eyes. Shinsuke thinks normally he’d find that a little gross, but somehow, Atsumu makes it look hotter than the porno mags he keeps hidden in one of his drawers.

“What can I say, Kita-san? I love pleasin’ people.” He slurs, voice slow and heavy with arousal. “Just had to pretend they were people I actually gave a fuck about. ‘M glad I finally get to try and make you feel good, though, even if it's just for a night.”

“I’m gonna have ta make it worth your while then.” Shinsuke suddenly gets a glorious image of Atsumu face down and ass up, just waiting to be fucked. Waiting there ready for him. Suddenly, Shinsuke wants to move right to the bedroom, despite the fact he knows Atsumu wants to continue his work on the couch.

The blonde between his legs flushes down past his neck. “Ya don’t gotta do that. I just wanted the chance to give ya a good time. Ya don’t need to do anythin’.” Shinsuke just hums, lost in thoughts about what he would do first, he definitely wants to tease Atsumu, see how long he can stand being teased. “Ya ain’t listenin’ ta me.”

Shinsuke smiles down, patting his cheek. “Get that mouth back to work. I know ya ain’t done yet and I want a turn in charge so I can work on makin’ you a wreck.” Atsumu’s eyes lose a little focus, and it would’ve worried Shinsuke if it weren’t for the fact that Atsumu’s movements were still precise (at least as precise as they could be while wasted) and with the same intensity as before.

He dives right into it, and Shinsuke can’t help but cry out in pleasure as Atsumu deep throats him once again. There’s a warmth building down in his gut, he can feel his muscles tensing.

He’s so close, and without realizing it, he’s started rocking his hips up into Atsumu’s mouth, the other taking it wonderfully. “Shit- I’m. I’m so close… You feel so good- hah-“ 

He sees Atsumu’s eyes roll back a bit, as he sucks his cheeks in as he rocks his own hard length against Shinsuke’s leg. Shinsuke tries to tap Atsumu, to allow him to get off before he cums. Stubborn as he is, Atsumu simply stays down on him, and Shinsuke feels himself release down the other man’s throat with a horse call of his name. Atsumu helps him ride through his orgasm, swallowing all he can before popping his mouth off his now softened cock. 

He then licks some of the liquid that’s dripped out of his mouth and onto his face. “Yummy,” he winks.

Shinsuke rolls his eyes. “Cheeky shit.”

“Of course.” He hums. “Wouldn’t be me if I weren’t.” Which, he does have a point there.

Everything’s still moving in a weird way, seemingly slower than it should be. It felt like time had turned to honey, just as viscous and sweet. Shinsuke can’t really see anything other than Atsumu’s bright eyes and red lips, irritated and tempting.

“What… What’re ya lookin’ at Kita-san?”

“You.” he hums. “Thinking about what facial expressions you’d make if I were fuckin’ you as hard as I could.” He feels his lips quirk up as he hears a soft whimper from Atsumu, and sees him try to rub his legs together discreetly. “Oh, so you do like that idea? Are ya gonna let me help you feel good, too?”

“I already feel good, Kita-san,” Atsumu mumbles. “It felt so good seeing you lose that façade you usually have. To see you actually letting yourself go and reacting without thinking everything through.” Shinsuke feels a little embarrassed at the implication, but also…

“Atsumu, you’re going to be uncomfortable if we don’t take care of that.” He nods towards the other man’s groin.

There’s a funny look on Atsumu’s face. “We?” he asks.

Shinsuke gives him his best deadpan look. “I did say I was goin’ to help you feel good, didn’t I?”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated ta reciprocate.” Shinsuke really tries to fight his eye roll, he does, but he can’t help it. “Oi, fuck you.”

“No, Atsumu.” Shinsuke says, a little condescendingly, trying to test something out. “I’ll be the one fuckin’ you.”

Atsumu opens his mouth rapidly, as if he were about to argue, but at Shinsuke’s raised eyebrow, he looks down to the side. “Ok.”

“What was that?”

“Okay, Kita-san.” He says a little hoarsely. “I’d like ya to fuck me.”

“Good boy, that’s what I thought.” Atsumu lets out a groan, and Shinsuke smiles, satisfied. He’s learning what makes Atsumu tick, and it sends a rush of power through his veins. “Now, where’s your bedroom, I want you to be comfortable while I wreck that pretty ass of yours.”

“First door on the right, Kita-sen-… I mean Kita-san.” Was that a cut off senpai? Interesting.

“Well, we aren’t going to just appear there.” Shinsuke pulls himself off the couch. He sways a little as he stands, forgetting for a little while just how drunk he really is. He tries to make his way there as steady as he can though, and he can hear the fumbling as Atsumu also moves his inebriated self towards the room.

Atsumu’s bedroom is similar to the rest of the house, rather simply done, with dark wood furniture, the colour scheme still one of soft golds and blues mixing in with the main grey colour. It's simple, nothing overstated, but also comforting. Shinsuke thinks it makes sense given the man who lives there.

“Where’s your lube and condoms?” Shinsuke asks as Atsumu starts unbuttoning his plaid shirt.

“Top drawer on the nightstand.” The other replies, eyes still a little unfocused  
.  
“Good.” He lets himself watch Atsumu a bit as the pro-athlete undresses. Shinsuke is practically salivating looking at his pecs, good god, those are thick. Plus, the veins that show in his arms, his hands, are so attractive. He’d never really let himself take a good look before, but now that he was, he understands why it is exactly, that Atsumu has so many fans. 

To think, such an attractive and popular man dreamt about Shinsuke topping him, wrecking him, making him plead just to feel pleasure.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, Atsumu’s almost done and he’s just been standing there staring like an idiot. Which, to be fair, he did feel like one realizing just exactly what he hadn’t noticed standing in front of him all these years. So, Shinsuke quickly flings off the remainder of his clothes, and quickly opens the drawer, inspecting it before actually finding the supplies they’d need.

He's startled slightly by tentative hands ghosting over his hips, and they slide up underneath his shirt. It seems like Atsumu is trying to map out and memorize the feeling of Shinsuke’s body. He would be bothered, but for some reason from the man behind him, it makes him feel special, as if he were made of something actually important.  
If he were still someone deserving to be captain of a powerhouse school.

Shinsuke leans back into him, letting Atsumu explore a bit, letting the heat from the larger man warm his back. Atsumu curls around him, resting his head in the crook of Shinsuke’s neck. He can’t help but smile, the feeling of being wrapped up in someone’s arms felt so nice. Loneliness stopped existing in the moment, and he sighs, content in just feeling.

“Atsumu… get on the bed.” He turns his head so he can whisper it into the other’s ear. He gets a mumbled okay from his neck before Atsumu lazily lifts his head and lies on the bed. His dick is red and hard, and it looks uncomfortable. Shinsuke decides that no matter how much he wants to tease and test out Atsumu’s patience limit, he knows they’ve already had a long night, and Shinsuke doesn’t want to accidentally ruin things for Atsumu.

“Give me a shoooow, Kita-san~” Atsumu has a teasing lilt to his voice, but his eyes are hungry, looking at Shinsuke up and down, making him blush slightly under the intensity that was Atsumu Miya.

To hide it Shinsuke slides out of the rest of his clothes, starting to feel aroused once more under such scrutiny from him.

He slides onto the bed and moves so that he’s straddling Atsumu’s waist. Atsumu’s tall enough where Shinsuke can reach his chest and face in this position, and he’s struck again just by how much taller Atsumu has become. He hadn’t thought the other would get that much bigger after high school, but he supposes that you can’t really guess things like that.

He shifts so that his forearms are on each side of Atsumu’s head, and his head is in line with the other’s. Atsumu’s mouth is open, in an expression that seems to be awe, but Shinsuke’s sure that he’s merely excited for the activities to come. He’s not worth that stare from someone so set in their life and certain too, someone who’s excelling and sure in ways that Shinsuke could only wish he’d be.

He lowers his head slowly, seeing Atsumu’s eyes close when he leans in and presses his lips to Atsumu’s. They’re warm and soft, and he hears Atsumu sigh when Shinsuke pulls back after a few seconds.

“You called me cheeky, but at least I’m not a tease.” There’s humor in Atsumu’s voice, eyes open again and just looking up at him happily.

Shinsuke feels a strange feeling shift through his chest and just surges back into him, licking into his mouth when the opportunity comes at a surprised “oh” that comes from Atsumu.

He lets him in, and Shinsuke takes his time feeling around his mouth with his tongue. He doesn’t really take control as much as Atsumu freely gives it, letting Shinsuke do as he please. Letting him suck on his tongue, letting him run his finger’s through his hair and scratching the back of Atsumu’s head to get more of those gorgeous moans out of him.

He loves the energy he feels at being in charge, he hasn’t felt the thrill of being the one people look to for direction in so long… And here he was, being given that thrill by someone who’d challenged him so much when they were younger.  
He pulls back, seeing Atsumu’s swollen lips and smiling. Atsumu’s pupils are blown wide and he smiles back.

“Do you care about marks?” Shinsuke asks.

“No, in fact I am a pro-mark kinda guy. Whoa-” The response is sure and Shinsuke immediately shifts down to start kissing the soft skin of Atsumu’s neck as soon as the “no” had been said.

He chooses a spot in the crook of the left crook of his neck. Shinsuke sucks down hard and feels Atsumu grab his ass tightly and start to grind his hips up to get some friction. After some time working at the mark, Shinsuke leans back to take a look at his handiwork. He feels a satisfied smile appear on his face as he observes the purple splotch that’s started to darken the side of Atsumu’s neck.

He starts to look at other spots, and he chooses a spot a bit to the right of Atsumu’s adam’s apple to bite down on, dragging a deep groan from him, and licking at the spot to give some kindness to the abused mark. He continues to work around his neck and the top of his chest, marking him over and over again. Atsumu’s obviously into it, panting and moaning which further spurs on Shinsuke.

When he’s had his fun, Shinsuke moves his attention down, putting his hands on the pecs he admired before. Atsumu looks so vulnerable like this beneath him. Shinsuke wonders if it makes him a bad person for enjoying it so much. He gives his pecs a quick squeeze before slowly getting off of Atsumu.

“On your front, Atsumu.” He says softly. “Gotta get you loosened up a bit.” There’s a feeling of satisfaction as Atsumu switches positions. Shinsuke hadn’t realized how much he liked being in charge, he’d always been fairly passive with his previous partners.

Amazing, he thinks. Imagine what else I could’ve discovered if I’d let myself loose more often before now. He knows if he hadn’t released the tight hold he always kept on his actions, his personality, his life… well he wouldn’t be looking down at Atsumu’s nice ass up in the air. He grins, spreading out some lube on his fingers.

“Ready, Atsumu?” he leans over the larger man, teasing his finger around his hole. “I need to hear it from you.”

“Yes, please, I’m ready Kita-san.”

“Shinsuke.” He whispers into the other’s ear and feels a surge of accomplishment at the shiver he feels in response.

“Ok. Shinsuke-san, I’m ready.” And god, his voice is breathy and needy, and suddenly Shinsuke wishes Atsumu was already prepped so he could immediately get inside him. But he wasn’t, and he has to be patient. Shinsuke takes a breath.

He moves his finger slowly, pressing into the other’s hole. He hears sounds of pleasure escaping the man in front of him, as Atsumu presses back into Shinsuke, obviously impatient. Shinsuke can’t blame him though.

He spends time pushing in and out slowly, eventually stretching him out enough to add another finger. Shinsuke thinks he could play with Atsumu all day, his face so expressive of wanting and pleasure. The little sounds he makes when Shinsuke rubs his prostate and switches directions going right to his dick.

“Fuck!” he hears the muffled cry from beneath. “Please, I want you inside me already…” Shinsuke can see his thighs shaking, his dick dripping spots of cum. He hadn’t realized how long he’d spent in a stupor, just watching and feeling Atsumu. He was just so enrapturing, just meant to be in the spotlight. Maybe that’s always why he sought it out…

“Yeah, of course, hold up.” He says, moving quickly to open the condom lying near him and putting it on. It was a good thing he was hard again, because he doesn’t want to wait any longer than he already has. “Okay…” he grunts as he presses the tip of his dick inside him. Atsumu’s so tight around him and Shinsuke has to take deep breaths to calm himself so he didn’t cum right off the bat. He rocks his hips slowly, pressing in further each time he goes forwards and getting small moans from Atsumu in response. He hears a content sigh when he’s fully inside, feeling tight muscle around him. “God… yer just as tight as I thought you’d be…” 

Like the little shit he is, Atsumu turns his head so he can grin as he tightens his lower half, making Shinsuke clench his eyes shut and let out a sharp “Fuck! You brat…” He hears a laugh and then a hiss of pain. He then realises that his nails are digging into Atsumu’s hips and he yelps immediately letting go.

“Shit, I’m sorry Atsumu- you just, fuck- you took me by-“ Atsumu cuts off his panicked apology quickly.

“Shinsuke-san! I liked it… I didn’t mean to worry you.” He can feel his heartbeat start to slow down.

“Yer not lyin’, are ya?”

“Nah, I’m alright, in fact I feel amazin’. I like feelin’ Shinsuke-san inside me.” Atsumu sounds like he’s far off in another world. Though being a blunt person himself, Shinsuke feels like his chest had just gotten the wind squeezed out of it at such a brazen statement.

Shinsuke doesn’t really know how to respond to that, so he simply starts moving, putting his hands back on Atsumu’s hips, feeling little grooves from where his nails had left marks. When he starts to feel comfortable, and when he feels Atsumu relax, Shinsuke begins to up his pace, hearing a gasp from Atsumu and the slap of his hips against the other man.

He hears himself panting as he keeps up the pace, loving the mumbled words he can’t quite understand as he pounds into Atsumu.

“I’m close, so, so close…” Atsumu strings the sentence together, loud enough that the neighbours probably heard them, though Shinsuke can’t really bring himself to care right now. While still moving, Shinsuke leans over and presses himself into Atsumu’s back. He can feel heat radiating from him, as he reaches around with one hand and starts to quickly jerk him off in time with his thrusts.

He hears a curse before Atsumu cries out his name and Shinsuke feels him tighten drastically around him. Then, warmth flows over the hand he has wrapped around Atsumu’s dick as he feels himself release with a loud grunt, filing the condom he has on.

Atsumu relaxes, and slumps forwards, letting his weight drop onto the bed. Shinsuke eases out of him, moving slowly, still unsteady and a bit clumsy now that the adrenaline had started to wear off. He looks down in satisfaction at the hickeys that litter the side of Atsumu’s neck, knowing how many more are still on the other side of his body. Shinsuke’s surely done a fair bit on him, and he moves to go throw out the used condom. He should do something to clean up so Atsumu doesn’t have many extra things he has to do later.

So, feeling extremely satisfied and a little bit stiff, Shinsuke moves to the guest washroom, cleaning himself off quickly before grabbing a pair of boxers to slide on. He brings the dirty towel along with a clean one, and a glass of water he grabbed from the kitchen to Atsumu’s room.

When he closes the door behind him, Shinsuke notices that Atsumu had managed to get up and take the dirty sheets off of the bed. Atsumu sees the dirty towel and gestures to the laundry hamper where said sheets had been dropped. He then takes out other sheets and when he puts them down so Shinsuke can give him the clean towel.

“Thanks… Shinsuke-san.” Atsumu looks so sleepy, but is still checking to see if the new address is acceptable. Shinsuke smiles, he does like it better than “Kita-san”.

“It’s no problem, Atsumu. Here, I brought you some water. Clean yourself up and I’ll start with the bed.”

“Oh, you don’t have-“

“Atsumu.” He says firmly. “Let me do this for ya.”

“Alright. Thanks, Shinsuke-san.” He gives him a small smile, and its cute, Shinsuke thinks as he moves past him to the ensuite washroom. He chuckles a bit, he’s still got the captain voice, he thinks as he moves to make the bed.

Shinsuke sits on the side of the bed when he’s done, shutting his eyes and slowing his breathing. He stays there like that, keeping his mind at ease until he hears footsteps that mean Atsumu’s reentered the room.

He’s also wearing boxers, and is running his hand through his hair, trying to make his ruffled hair a bit smoother than the mess its in.

“Do you uh- wanna sleep here for tonight?” he ventures.

Shinsuke decides that he can let himself go for the rest of the weekend. He smiles at Atsumu, noticing his red face and finding it endearing. “Yeah, I’d like that Atsumu.”

Atsumu looks surprised, as if he hadn’t expected Shinsuke to actually accept, and he lets out one of the bright smiles that had been missing most of the night. Shinsuke slides to the side that didn’t have the nightstand, knowing it likely wouldn’t be the side Atsumu used. He feels the bed dip with the weight of Atsumu beside him.

The lights go off. Atsumu slowly shifts a little bit closer to Shinsuke, and sensing his intention, Shinsuke slides over the rest of the way, so Atsumu can curl his arm and body around him. 

Shinsuke feels different, he knows he’s felt it since really getting here and spending time with Atsumu and his other friends. 

At first, he thought it was something wrong, something that he was missing.

And he was missing something.

His loneliness.

He felt like a part of something again.

Shinsuke knows no matter what sort of consequences happen tomorrow, or the next day, or week, or year… Shinsuke is going to enjoy this moment, wrapped up and safe and feeling satisfied.

“Good night, Atsumu.” He whispers.

“G’night Shinsuke-san” comes the mumbled reply.

And they fall asleep.


End file.
